Eco's Humor Stories
by EcoJak
Summary: Just a few fics me and my friend came up with in Biology.
1. Jak Practices Looking Scary in Mirror

Jak Practices Looking Mad in Mirror

By: EcoBlood/Alisha

**Hello, and welcome to our horribly deformed story we and my bestest pal, Alisha, made in Biology.**

**Alisha "I did most of the work.."**

**Anyway, l'll start.**

One day, Jak woke up.

**Alisha "**He took a bath with "Totally Jak" body wash."

(I want that..) The soap blinded his eyes and he walked out with only a towel on.

**Alisha "**Fan girls came swarming lead by me and Crashfan! Roar!"

Alisha finds Torn and chases him.

**Alisha "**I get him on the ground and put him in my cage."

Dark Jak emerges with fangirls still on him.

**Alisha "**Jak runs! But didn't get far when the fangirls covered him. "Help!"

Daxter appears, showing off his oh-so-sexy body; fan girls pin him down as Jak gets away.

**Alisha "**How many bottles of Gatorade did you drink...?"

ONLY ONE!

**Alisha "**Jak develops a plan to get fan girls afraid of him. (Practices looking scary in mirror) "Roar!"

Praxis comes in and gives him a big hug for no reason; Jak shoots him in the butt.

**Alisha "**Jak decides to disguise himself with kitty litter."

...and Mr. Whiskers wants it back.

**Alisha "**Jak and Mr. Whiskers rumble."

Keira and Alisha fight over Jak (catfight)

**Alisha "**Alisha and Keira go to Jerry Springer. Alisha gets Keira to compromise with her after 6 hours of fighting; Alisha gets a date with Torn."

...If Keira can have her hair back. During the 6 hrs, Jak gells his hair.

**Alisha "**Screaming girls try to swarm Jak, but slip off his gel-"

And fly into a giant Furby!

**Alisha "**Furby eats girls except for Crashfan and Alisha! "Ha! Ha! Ha!"

Crashfan gives Dark Jak a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii(8 hours later)iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggg hug!

**Alisha "**When Dark Jak returns to a healthy colour and oxygen is released back into his lungs he says "Ummmm...hi Crash"

Crashfan looks up at him; smiling for hours. Crashfan says "Umm...Jak? Do you think you could talk to Torn fer me? (Smiles)"

Torn gets a blind date with Alisha. Alisha is home, ready to go, but needs about 100 gallons of Gatorade!

But Crashfan and Dark Jak need Gatorade! So, they sneak in and steal it(and swallow it in about .5 seconds. Sig timed us.)

**Alisha "**SUGAR HIGH! Crash runs around city 5 times.."

...and taps a Krimson Guard which sends all of them after her.

**Alisha "**Jak chains her down (for now) and forces her to watch an 8 day Dora the Explorer marathon. Crash breaks free and goes after Dora!"

Crash kills Dora.

**Alisha "**Boots turns into Dark Boots."

Dark Boots kills Boots.

**Alisha "**Jak takes Crash to the movies; but the only movie playing is the SpongeBob SquarePants movie. They get locked in and watch it 100 times."

Keira gets angry and breaks down door with bare hands. "JAK! I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!"

**Alisha "**Jak looks at Keira and then at Crash. (Grabs Crash and runs) They hide in cheerleading camp. Jak has to hide in cheerleading uniforms-"

WITH POM-POMS!

**Alisha "**Jak gets on top of cheerleading pyramid and jumps out of camp into apool of Gatorade! That was there they lived happily ever after. Until they run out of Gatorade...DUN! DUN! DUN! AAHH!"

**Crash's older sister who just happened to be here "**Then Crash runs away from Jak, finds Keira, and they put make-up and a dress on Jak! Jak looks at them and asks "Do I look sexy or what?" THE END! ...Or is it?"

Ummm...why are you here?

**Crash's older sister who just happened to be here "**Eh, I'm bored".

You don't even play Jak and Daxter..

**Crash's older sister who just happened to be here "**So? What'cha gonna do about it?"

(Sends rabid furbies after her)

**Crash's older sister who just happened to be here "**Awwww.. they're so cute!"

IT'S NOT WORKING! RUN! (Crash and Alisha run)

**Dark Jak "**I know this was pointless, but review!"


	2. Jak Breaks His Leg

Jak Breaks His Leg

By: EcoBlood/Alisha

**Author Note: **I'm back with another story! (Dances) Don't have much time, so enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

One day, Jak comes home to eat a "Totally Jak" sandwich, and finds Daxter on the couch cliping his toenails! (Reader: EEWWWW!)

"With these toenails, I shall rule the world!" Daxter proclaimed.

"OUT!" Jak screamed, as Daxter gracefully clipped a big toenail across the room.

Daxter refused, and turned on Jerry Springer to find Alisha and Keira fighting once again. He then puts on roller skates, skates around the room, and sings "A-B-C" by Micheal Jackson in the highest voice possible!

Jak starts to get mad, and chases the ottsel around until little birdies fly around his head. Jak trips, and falls down the stairs screaming higher than a frightened cheerleader. He stays on the floor, looking at his leg for 30 minutes before screaming at the top of his lungs for another 30 minutes, then stops with his mouth wide open. Daxter comes running.

"Now Jak, what did I tell you about getting dizzy and falling down the stairs like a complete moron?"

Jak starts to get up to chase Daxter, but falls on his butt. He then breaks his butt-bone.

"...ow."

Jak pays Daxter 50 bucks to get him into bed and another 100 for dinner. Daxter brings him a plate with a piece of bread.

"Don't say I never gave you anything!"

Dessert will be another 100. Jak winds up paying in Monopoly money. Jak promises Daxter a big favor for helping him get better. So, Daxter agrees with a sneaky smile.

"I'll give you a year's supply of purple underwear." Jak promised.

"Leather?" Daxter asked.

"Yup."

Daxter gives Jak a Betsy Wetsy to squeeze and Daxter will come running when the baby cries "Mommy, I wet my pants!"

Daxter happily runs down the happy stairs and watches another happy episode of Maury on the happy T.V. and happily (Ok..I'm gonna be sick) makes a happily happy sandwich.

Jak sits in his room staring at Betsy Westy for 20 minutes before he looks outside. Just when he has his back turned, her head spins completely around spiting cheerleader goo! Jak turns back to see an innocent baby smiling back at him.

He could of sworn he saw a wink...but he told himself he was imaging it. He was hungry again so he squeezed the baby...

**"YOU WILL ALL DIE!MAWHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!"**

Jak stares at the baby again and screams again. The baby gets up, takes out a jackhammer (no relation) and hammers into Jak's broken leg. Daxter walks in, sees what's happening, and slowly shuts the door. The ottsel ran out the door but not before he grabs a balogney sandwich and a coke. he runs up to an old woman who, in return, beats him with her poodle and steals Jak's Playstation 2.

"MOMMY!" Daxter screamed.

He pulled off a pair of poodle teeth on his butt; no poodle attached. A pair of dentures occupied the other butt-cheek. He looks behind him just in time to get wacked in the head by a large red purse and grabbing her teeth back viciously! Gurr! A police officer sees this and thinks Daxter is attacking her so he beats him with his nightstick. Suddenly, the ottsel is surrounded by the entire Army!

"Drop the old woman and step away from the poodle." The Army ordered.

"I'M TOO FRAGILE TO GO TO JAIL!" Daxter cries.

"Save the drama fo yo mama!" The officer ordered.

Daxter tossed Betsy Wetsy at him.

As she sweetly says "mama", she suddenly devours his flesh; giggiling. She is unstoppable eating the people! Only Jak can save them! Only Jak knows her true weakness...diaper rash!

"It's been a long time since you've been changed and we _all_ know that!" Daxter says looking at her full diaper.

She looks down embarrased; crying all the way home to mommy! Daxter goes into Jak's room and tells him EVERYTHING! ...Making Daxter look good of course.

"I kinda feel sorry for her.." Daxter said sadly.

Jak looks at him with a smirk.

"NAH!"

THE END!


	3. Jak and the Goldfish

Jak and the Goldfish

By: EcoBlood/Alisha/Aquilla

**Author Note: **Yup! Got another 'fic. And look who else joined us! This is strange 'cause the title has nothing to do with this! (Talk about randomness..) Thanks to everyone who reviewed and enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

Jak rolled out of bed with two red socks on his ears and pink "Jak" underwear on his nose. It had been a long night with thousands of fans screaming and screaming and...screaming! So, Jak hugged his poopsy bear for dear life. (I thank Sig for this idea..) He blinked and said "moo."

He walked into the fridge, took one bite out of a pickle, screamed "EWW!", then placed it back where it was. He scratched his butt, then walked out the door. As he was walking, thousands of fans were screaming...then became silient. (Probably 'cause Jak was still in his underwear ) All the girls ran and jumped on Jak and took off his underwear. They were surprised at what they had seen next..

Jak had another pair of bright pink underwear on underneath.

The Precursor looked at the girls (Very scared), laughed (very nervously), then, before they could say anything, RAN!

The girls ran home and got dressed just like Jak. They ran back to where Jak was and he seemed very surprised...

They all came back, bouncing on their butts and saying "Lakatooky!"

Jak was so shocked, he opened his mouth so wide that it hit the floor. The girls tackled him so much that he could hardly breathe. He slipped out just in time to get trampled by a herd of cows. Torn was riding a bull in skin tight, leather pants yelling "YEEHAW!" As he was screaming, he ended up falling off the bull the herd trampled him. After the last cow, he was crying for his mommy (So sad..) in his ripped clothes and pink bunny underwear. (Laundry day, Torn?)

A hole opened in the sky and Mar (little Jak) fell out. He smooched Torn and said "poopy." The smell rose up from his "Bob the Builder" diaper, and into Jak's nose. Jak jumped up and ran to his house for a can of air freshener.

There was none left.

Ding! (Idea) He started to hold his breath. He picked up Mar and dumped him in a tub of water with good smelling soap and pretty pink bubbles.

OH NO! SHARK!

"Wait...that's just my rubber ducky!" Mar said in the cutest voice possible. (Thought he was a mute, eh?)

The rubber ducky started to grow and grow until it was monster sized and roaring. DUN, DUN, DUN! HAHAHA! I FOUND A PIN! _POP! _

Underneath the rubber ducky was Betsy Wetsy with a large controller.

"REVENGE! MAWAHAHAA!" She said.

Mar got so scared he pooped in the tub. He jumped out so fast that the whole bathroom fell into the house below his. He sat on their kitchen table for a few seconds, then ran to the only place that he could cry in his poopy underwear...

His mommy's house.

What happened to Jak, you say?

Well, let's just say his mommy's arms are still tired...

THE ENDDDDD! MAWHAHAHA!


	4. Bananas!

Bananas!

By: EcoJak

* * *

**Summary**: 'Pickles' seems to be the secret word of the day...

* * *

One day, Jak went to the store to get a jar of pickles. Jak loved pickles. Pickles made him happy. But, they didn't have any pickles. So, it made him very upset.

"I'm very upset!" Jak proclaimed.

Duh, I just said that! Grrr...anyhoo, he turned into Dark Jak and attacked the pickle suppliers.

"I WANT PICKLES!" Dark Jak screamed, somehow lifting the poor, unfortunate pickle man 50 feet in the air.

"I don't have pickles! I have cucumbers!"

"I WANT PICKLES!" Dark Jak repeated, his head spinning completely around and melted chocolate oozing out of his fanged mouth.

Dark Jak dropped the man on his buttocks, and ORDERED him to get pickles right now! The pickle person ran to the back of the store, but ran back when the pickles attacked him.

"EVIL PICKLES! EVIL PICKLES!" The man screamed, swinging a GIANT chainsaw!

"I'll save you!"

Dark Jak took the chainsaw and swung it around the store wildly while the pickle man was holding on FOR DEAR LIFE!

Suddenly, evil pig feet came to life and devoured the evil pickles. But then, they absorbed the evil and forced all the customers to watch the most horrible thing ever: Court shows.

"NOOOO! NOT COURT SHOWS!" Everyone screamed.

"Yes! Court shows! Mwahahhahahahahahhaahhahahahahha!" I said.

Jak still wanted his pickles, so he magically summoned up a small pickle whistle with a BBIIGG pickle skull with glowy red eyes and blew into it.

"WHAKAKAKAKAKAKAKACHAHAHAHA!"

Instead of an evil pickle army as he would of suspected, Alisha, and her army of clones that planned to dominate the world by brainwashing squrrells and furbies, attacked with the dreaded pink bunnies of EEVVIIILL!

**"WORLD DOMINATION!"**

Jak didn't care; he wanted his zesty pickles!

Wait! SOMEBODY STOLE THEM!

"MY PICKLES!" Jak screamed.

Jak cried so much that the entire store was flooded and evil chickens started paddiling across in tiny boats with diabolical, paper sailor hats! Jak hated evil chickens, so he took a grenade...

Held it in the air...

Prepared to throw it...

And finally...

With one great, powerful toss...

He slowly...

Ate it.

"This tastes better than pickles!" Jak said.

Everyone looked at him and said "FoShizzle."

Jak suddenly took a big biology book and whacked himself in the head.

* * *

Daxter went to his litter box and a giant monster appeared! But who cares? Back to the story!

* * *

Everyone then started eating the best food in the world; SHRIMP! ...But completely forgot about the evil chickens, pickles, and pig's feet that plauged their lives so.

Just then, insane monkies fell from the sky and ate everyone's pants.

"I still want pickles.." Jak said, but nobody cared.

"I want pickles too." Nobody said.

So Jak and Nobody teamed up to attack the evil empire. Nobody was secretly planning to capture Jak, but Jak was too busy enjoying the contents of his fat nose to notice Nobody two feet away with a clucking chainsaw.

_Cluck...cluckcluck...cluckcluckcluckcluckcluck..._

Jak didn't see Nobody and luckily hopped away with all of his wondeful pickles to one day start his own pickle farm.

* * *

Daxter was slowly being dragged away by the litter monster...inch by inch by inch...damn look at the time! Gotta go!

* * *

THE END!

* * *

**EcoJak: I know, too short. WAY too short! Review anyway?**


End file.
